Hit and Run or Stay and Apologize
- Emily Kay
- Dec 7, 2024
- 6 min read
Intro~
Entering Topic
I was at Thursday night karaoke like normal. In between singers, the DJ had his standard playlist going on in the background. We were all jamming to “HandClap” by Fitz and the Tantrums when all of a sudden, there was a huge BOOM! that shook the whole building. Everyone looked around but nothing seemed amiss. There was a squealing of wheels and the staff was immediately on their feet. I followed them outside to make sure everyone was okay. Being a true crime junkie, I’ve learned that even in an emergency situation everyone assumes “someone else” is calling 911 before bystanders actually do. I saw normal traffic and was very confused until one of the regulars explained to me that the white Malibu at the red light had hit the truck at the end of the parking lot. It was a hit-and-run – or, more accurately, a hit-and-drive.
I ran around for the next while after telling people my experience, “There was a boom and we all jumped! I thought someone fell out of their chair, but no one did! It came from outside…,” and always ended my recollection with, “That was ILLEGAL!” I was flabbergasted, astonished, astounded, amazed, bewildered, bedraggled, and bedazzled! As I usually am when confronted with the criminal realities that surround us all, I can accept that these things happen, but that is a different, completely separate entity from understanding why they happen.
While working at Spirit Halloween last year, I found myself consistently confused to the point of tears, unable to understand why anyone would feel it necessary to have the costumes and decorations to the point of stealing. Food, I get. Baby formula, understandable. Toiletries, first aid supplies, and clothing are all things I can rationalize. But Halloween costumes are not a dire need to survive. They are a want, a luxury. This is coming from a die-hard spooky season lover who wouldn’t hesitate to wear costumes every day of the year. I love them. They are so cool. Actually, they are f^cking awesome. But they are simply a want and not a need. Why risk your life as you know it to look like a shiny purple witch?
Even in the instance with the hit-and-run, I can’t comprehend being able to just drive away after making such a big mistake. It just doesn’t make sense to me that some people don’t own up and take responsibility for their actions. If I accidentally killed someone, I wouldn’t try to cover it up. I’d be honest right away and hope for the best. The consequences are so much worse if you get caught when you play games.
Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes“Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince,” Taylor Swift, Lover
I can’t tell you how many television shows and movies I have watched where people make a reasonable mistake and immediately follow that up with a stupid mistake to go “on the lam.” I’m sure there are situations in which that is the only safe option. I understand that choice for those storylines where the character would almost definitely be killed in prison. But it's not worth ditching your life if you just shoplifted a Pokemon card pack. There are tougher situations like self-defense killings and getting framed, but I’d like to think that our legal system isn’t so badly broken that the punishments for these would be worth becoming a fugitive to avoid.
'Cause I'm young and I'm dumb “Can’t Blame A Girl For Trying,” Sabrina Carpenter, Eyes Wide Open
I am young and inexperienced in the ways of criminality and the nuances of others’ experiences with the legal system. My opinion doesn’t hold much weight here. However, why I brought this up will make much more sense once I connect it with autism.
Ad Break~
Autism Rule Rigidity
Autistics, especially children, tend to have a hard time adapting mentally. Their cognitive rigidity makes it hard for them to see the gray areas in the world. To them, everything is black or white, right or wrong. They rely on the predictability of the world around them, but unfortunately, that’s not always available. Change is a big part of life, which can be intensely distressing to autistics. Circumstances and acceptability within society are ever-changing. When I was younger, the LGBTQIA+ community wasn’t as open with pride as they are now. While this statement may sound all “back in my day,” it’s a strong analogy for autism. Older generations find change hard because they’ve been used to their way of life for longer than most other generations have been alive. Autism is similar, but with shorter spurts of time.
Change can be hugely distressing for those with autism, especially when they don’t have healthy coping mechanisms to help them through the shift. Many autistics have difficulty moving on from negative emotions and get stuck in a spiral of meltdowns and exhaustion, which makes it hard for them to do normal daily life activities like work or school. Sometimes, the struggle extends to self-care, including eating, drinking water, going to the bathroom, and even cleaning themselves.
According to AdultAndGeriatricAutism.com, there are three ways to help clear up mental rigidity:
Suggestion 1
“Ask Other People About Their Experiences and Opinions,” is my favorite method. I love asking people how their minds work so I can learn. From asking Editor questions about her journey with tarot cards to asking random strangers about their sense of style, it’s always fascinating to attempt to understand other people’s thought processes. This is also why I’m a big fan of true crime documentaries and other resources, to learn about the psychology of those who think differently than I do.
Suggestion 2
“Mix it Up A Bit,” suggests that the autistic person changes small parts of their routine until they get used to the idea of not needing everything to always be 100% the same. The example they provide is to drink coffee in the mug that is typically used for tea. This might seem like nothing to someone without autism, but believe me when I say that having different objects for different similar tasks is a big thing that helps reduce stress for an autistic person.
Suggestion 3
“Decide to Look for Two Solutions,” is about practicing how to come up with more than one solution per problem. This one will take a lot of time for some because it is a mental routine. Changing mentality is much more complicated than physicality, in my opinion.
Another aspect of cognitive rigidity when it comes to autism is changing tasks. A great example for this was when I was learning how to play the game “Merry Madness,” a fancy Nightmare Before Christmas-themed Left Right Center (LCR) game. For those who haven’t played LCR, it is a game where the dice tell you to pass your chips to the left, the right, and the center until only one person has chips. The thing about “Merry Madness” is that it has three different sets of rules, making it three games in one. All versions of the game use the same pieces but have different goals. This messed with my brain; switching up the game while having the same pieces in front of me was too complex for me to handle. I kept returning to the first version of the game I had learned.
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How It Affected Me
I have always found it difficult to see the gray areas because of my comorbid OCD and ASD. I’ve worked very hard since my diagnosis with Autism Spectrum Disorder to fix my thinking so I can be more flexible. I was raised Roman Catholic; aside from the three years I was homeschooled, I went to private Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school. This was the life I had known, so going to college was a culture shock. Over the years, I have developed a better understanding of spirituality and no longer identify as a practicing Catholic. I believe in a more psychological way of looking at religion; I enjoy learning about different beliefs and the history behind the development of religious systems. I think something is out there, whether it be a god, the Universe itself, Fate, or what have you, however, I am no longer rigid in my beliefs. The basis of my thinking will always rest within Catholicism; that’s how I was raised, but I am more flexible with my belief system. I change every day and welcome it. Life is about learning and growing, not keeping everything the same. I’m very happy to have made it to this part of my life.
Outro~
07/03/2024
07/14/2024
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